a recent post on ye old royalboard.com pointed out that carlos beltran has an opportunity to become one of MLB's few 40/40 guys (40 home runs, 40 stolen bases).

and my question is, how can you possibly like this guy?

let's see, here's his splits for just this year (yes, i know the formatting is fucked up. i'm not fixing it. if you care, you can check it here):

YEAR G AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI BB SO SB CS BA OBP SLG OPS
2004 - AL 69 266 51 74 19 2 15 51 37 44 14 3 .278 .367 .534 .901
2004 - NL 56 210 41 55 12 1 20 44 31 35 19 0 .262 .360 .614 .975

he hits for a poor average this year, especially after the trade, but according to sabermetric thinking, we apparently don't care about that...so, in fewer games and fewer at-bats, he has more home runs and a higher OPS, plus comparable other peripherals. what is it, more effort now that he's out of kansas city? is he happy that he's now on a winning team (ha!)...what?

anyway, who cares? i can't believe that any KC Royals fans would root for this guy. we brought him up, we groomed him, we suffered through the awful sophomore campaign, as well as his lame attitude -- including his gigantic crybaby failure over being asked to report for a rehab assignment (hey, carlos, all we were asking is that you shaped your shit up) -- and waited and waited for him to finally break through, only to see him demand SO MUCH after a couple of years that there was no way in hell we could afford him. it wouldn't bother me to see him go all jermaine dye on us and suffer a season-ending injury. every season.

i don't blame him for wanting to make a lot of money, and i don't blame royals management for not wanting to pay him that ridiculous sum...but where does that leave us as fans? i have no reason to like any of these guys. so, no, i don't wish him continued success.

think about it: mike sweeney is a fan "favorite". yes, I know, a lot of people don't like his lame-ass "good guy" act or his overwhelmingly ridiculous faith in jesus to help his game along. but that's mike sweeney the gigantic dork, for the most part. the other part is the fact that he gets injured every year. multiple times. his hitting is always less than he's capable of because he's NEVER ever 100%. never going to be, either. and, now, he's done for the year.

so, how much did mike sweeney make sitting on the bench last night? $68,000. each night. every night. every game, no matter if he sucks, or if he plays, or if he stays at home in kansas city recuperating. mike sweeney makes more on a "day off" than I hope to make if I get promoted to management at work. mike makes enough during one game to pay off everything I own for the entire year, and still have tens of thousands of dollars left over. and that's one game. there are 161 more games left to completely have every single thing paid for over and over and just massive amounts of money left. mike seems like a nice guy. he's taken advantage of the opportunities presented to him.

he's still a complete, total asshole. just add him to the list. there are thousands of millionaires and billionaires bilking idiots out of their money. and there's always a willing supply of chumps forking over their hard-earned, well-limited funds to watch these guys spit on them repeatedly. mike sweeney makes money because his bosses are willing to pay it. his bosses are willing to pay it because royals fans keep putting money in their pocket, either through going to games, or paying taxes to kansas city, or buying their crappy overpriced merchandise. WHY?

carlos beltran thinks so much of himself – thinks he is SO good – that he deserves $92,600 every game. 162 games a year. for 5-6 years. whether he plays or not. whether he jermaine dye's himself in the first game next year and never plays again. $92,600 to watch baseball on TV like the rest of us chumps. he might – *might* – have enough to pony up $200 for the MLB extra innings package if he budgets well.

this makes me sick. I try not to think about this bullshit. I don't want to be a part of it, and it almost makes me feel ashamed that I continue to support this horrible system. these guys don't care what the fuck happens. management really doesn't care – as long as they don't lose money! WHAT?!? what kind of business is this? where did this idea come in: "It's ok to own a team, as long as I don't lose money on it!" what's that? investing in business isn't a risk? you mean multi-millionaires and billionaires shouldn't have to worry about investing in a high profile, fun business and losing money!? yeah, that's exactly what we should worry about. god forbid these complete horrible assholes don't lose 1/200th of their net worth due to awful stupid decisions they themselves made. so sad. these guys need a fuckin fork in the eyes...and we'll follow that up by jabbing the players with the same utensil.

so, who cares what the royals do? I try not to think about it, because then I won't want to follow it. but why follow it anyway? all the royals care about is whether or not we'll spend more money to see them. really makes you feel good.

well, I've succeeded in making myself sick again.

god bless,
Joe Blow.