So, Buddy Bell is your new manager. Where do you go from here?

Straight up, apparently.

It's been a few days since none other than Buddy Bell was named the new manager of the Kansas City Royals. Kind of a surprising choice, really...at least to anybody that followed post after post of conversation on any of the Royals-related message boards. And, prior to the SWEEP OF THE YANKEES (always gotta repeat that when it's actually true), you were hard-pressed to find much of anyone saying anything positive about Allard Baird's choice in manager.

With that in mind, I'll run through a few thoughts on Buddy Bell (so far), both good and bad. And, seeing as how he's not a popular choice, we'll start with the bad!

The Bad:

The Royals have one glaring problem that doesn't seem to crop up in discussion much, but is always present: they are very, very poor at presenting themselves to the public. The Buddy Bell hire is a prime example. The team on the field, whether it's a budding version of a future force to reckon with, or another year of an unsuccessful, perpetually almost-rebuilding squad, is generating close to zero excitement from fans. The owner, whether you agree with his strategy or not, is unwilling to spend more on the team than it brings in (that is the topic for a very long, bitter post, though it won't be this one). The general manager, though he has registered a few minor successes as of late, has also triggered on a few disastrous deals that have, in one way or another - whether through poor choices or plain bad luck - rendered this team unable to consistently compete day after day. I think it's wrong to hold up two outlying examples in the Twins and A's as proof that low-payroll teams can also compete in this day and age, though that goes along with my much longer post alluded to above (not to mention, what about the A's this year? 21-32?)

Anyway, the shorter point is, the Royals needed to do their best to generate some level of actual fan interest with their hire. I thought it would be bringing in a big name as a manager, though I've lately come to realize that

1) None of the candidates out there are actually known names to most casual Royals fans and
2) All that really matters is winning.

So, at first, the Buddy Bell hiring seemed like a mistake to me. What are the Royals doing? Why are they bringing in a guy with a terrible career managing record, with no local ties, with barely any name recognition, without much of anything visible to support their decision that this is the best guy for the job? Just another bizarre mistake, it seemed.

But winning cures all, really. Is Buddy Bell the right guy? Who really knows? You can twist and turn, look at record here and sac bunts there, manager's effectiveness percentage or failure to show enthusiasm at his press conference – whatever stat you want to create to try to quantify what makes a good manager. And, what you're left with is...no idea. Because there's not a way to measure what makes a good manager in any guaranteed way. There is no guideline, and there is no measurement that tells you. a manager can choose the "correct" answer to any question he faces in a game (regardless of who's deciding what is "correct", just pretend like it's you..), and still fail 10 out of 10 times.

A manager is as good as you think he is, and what you think isn't what other people think. Some managers are better than others (subjectively, at least). Some have had more success, and by "success", most people mean they've won more games. Sure, that's a good thing, but it's not necessarily up to the manager to go out and pick up the save or hit a base-clearing double.

Is Buddy Bell who I would have picked as a manager? I don't know, I didn't interview any of the guys, and neither did you. Allard Baird did, and I think the fact that he made the decision serves Buddy Bell up for criticism as much as anything else. Do you trust that Allard's going to make the right decision? Yeah, neither do most other intelligent baseball fans that continue to follow this team. Though we're all on his side and eager for him to prove our doubts wrong..

The Good:

Buddy Bell is 3-0 as a manager.

You can't pin those wins on him, but I haven't seen one move he's made that I actually opposed. Wondered about? Yeah. I would have liked to see Leo Nunez pitch to more than one batter in yesterday's 5-2 win over the Yankees, but I love the fact that he's not afraid of using a pitcher for only one batter. Ambiorix Burgos is shaky, but he's never seen him pitch. Can't quibble with wanting to bring him in (I also wonder if he received word from upstairs that Burgos is the closer if MacDougal isn't available). He's only even attempted sacrifice bunts in situations where the Royals are up in the late innings and could use more runs, and with young guys (Buck, Berroa) that don't exactly make great contact and tear the cover off the ball. In other potential sacrifice situations, he's let a guy like Graffanino, even though he's not a good hitter, swing away. Graffanino is a veteran and a pro, and there's a much better chance he'll put the ball in play effectively than some of the younger guys.

He has a bullpen, and he's not afraid to use it: pulling Greinke and Jensen after 5 innings, Carrasco after 6. Will his bullpen blow up on him? Undoubtedly. Happens to every team (a lot with this one). But I'm glad to see him use it. I don't understand why teams keep so many guys in the bullpen, then save them for the next game in which they're not going to be used. I could have sworn those guys are major leaguers, too..

There's been a lot of small decisions just in the 3 games so far that lead me to (wishfully) think that Buddy Bell just might know what he's doing. Will he be able to turn these guys into winners? This is the Royals we're still talking about, right?

Hopefully,
Joe Blow

The worst game EVER (that I've been too)

(note: this was written before the Royals decided to do something like go out and sweep the yankees. great timing -- a post about what is likely the worst game I've ever been to the day after one of the best series I've seen in a long time..)

* * * * *

Well, Anaheim was nice.

Of course, after spending a couple days sitting on the freeway in L.A., anywhere with a nice row of palms and moving lanes of traffic seems almost, uh, "magical" -- even if it's a pre-fabricated, commercially created little spot. It was still a breath of fresh air (in many ways).

That's the only kind thing I really want to say about it. After witnessing last Friday night's debacle – in person – I think you might feel the same way.

The day started nicely. After spending the morning walking around Hollywood, then dropping $150 at Amoeba Records (I would have spent more, but we were on a time and luggage space limit), we slowly crawled our way to Anaheim. The drive there was not particularly smooth, but, then again, apparently everywhere in Los Angeles is the most horrible place to drive to ever. I don't remember it being quite as bad last time I was there, but it seemed no matter what time it was or where we were going, there was a whole lot of idling and a small amount of slow coasting.

I think the mood upon our eventual arrival in Anaheim (mine, at least) was helped by the fact that the night consisted of enjoying a few fine microbrews I had picked up the day before (the Smoked Porter and Arrogant Bastard Ale from Stone Brewing Co., and the Hop Rod Rye from Bear Republic Brewing). The Hop Rod Rye was my favorite (Bear Republic also makes a great IPA), though the Arrogant Bastard was very good as well. The Smoked Porter was decent, though, uh, where's the "smoked" part? I guess I just got used to my introduction to the genre, the smoked porter from the O'Fallon Brewery in O'Fallon, Missouri, which is extra thick on smoke flavor. Strangely, not a flavor I actually enjoy that much, which makes my taste for it odd..

Hey, wait, we were getting ready to talk baseball here, right?

Anyway, after a small microbrew session, there was to be the Royals game and a night out at the ESPN Sports Zone in (ugh) Downtown Disney to follow. So, I was pretty excited. I had the local news on, and during a segue from a story about Rickey Henderson's return, the sportscaster said, "And, turning to a team that Rickey's new team probably wouldn't have a hard time beating, Major League Baseball's worst team, the Kansas City Royals, are in town to begin a 3-game series." Fuckin smartass little dude..

Can we start winning and put an end to this shit?

Edison International Field in Anaheim is, well…it's just not that impressive. With the recent refurbishments, it's taken on some of the characteristics of a few of the newer stadiums I've been to (Bank One Ballpark in Phoenix, Comerica Park in Detroit) in that most of the decorations seem plastic and aimed towards entertaining 3 year-olds. The giant helmets on both sides of the entrance are large and gaudy, and the large "baseball bat" support beams scream, "We're trying to pretend like this ballpark is new!" The best part was the large "A" with a halo in the opposite parking lot. Naturally, it's not a part of the stadium itself.

And I haven't even mentioned the "rock spectacular (with water)". Not only has Anaheim (along with Detroit) ripped off the fountain(ish) idea from Kauffman Stadium, they've done it in less than impressive ways. Detroit's fountains are on top of an ugly concourse tunnel behind right-center field, and Anaheim's are on those awful, ridiculous rocks. At least they've taken those hideous ghost-player pictures off of the outfield walls.

Other than that, it was…a ballpark.

I had been in full Royals-fan spotting mode as soon as we got out of the car. There were a couple of close calls, but it turned out to be Angels fans that apparently paid no attention to the opponent and managed to wear their colors. We were the only fans in Royals gear in a sea of thousands. My girlfriend, who likes to buy the shirts of the other teams whose ballparks we go to (I know, it's a habit that needs to be broken – see later in the entry for more on this), asked to go through the gift shop. She decided to get a shirt after the game.

We proceeded towards the field, where we had an usher take our picture. She seemed a little hesitant to actually help us, but eventually figured out how to push the camera button. An older guy standing nearby, dressed in his Angels Employee top hat and vest, said, "Well, you two are the first Royals fans I've seen tonight!"

"Yeah, there's still a couple of us left," I replied.
"Well, you guys took two out of three from us last time," he said. I guess the embarrassment of losing two out of three to the Royals causes you to remember things like that.
"Yep, let's see if we can do it again!" I said. He laughed.
"Good luck, then!"

We traversed the sea of red (it's amazing what a recent World Series championship does for merchandising) and found our seats in the upper deck. Surrounded by Angels fans. I spotted a father and son in Royals gear in the lower deck to the left, and a guy wearing a KC hat sitting with his two friends (both Angels fans) in the bleachers underneath us to the right. And, aside from a little kid with a Royals jersey that was standing at the outfield wall during warm-ups, that was it for Royals fans in our little part of the stadium.

The game itself was great for a while. Paul Byrd started for the Angels, and I was eager to see the Royals tee off on him. They didn't in the top of the first, and Chone Figgins, the first Angels batter, tripled and scored, and it was quickly 1-0. But the Royals fought back, scoring two runs in the next two innings, and took a 2-1 lead into the 7th. There were a couple of sparkling defensive plays turned in by Sweeney, a couple by Gotay, and some great defense by Dejesus (including an outstanding catch late in the game to preserve the lead). When Berroa scored in the top of the 7th on a wild pitch to make the game 4-1, you wouldn't believe the boos that reigned down from the fans. This is a team that won the World Series two years ago, and was tied for first place this year! They certainly have some high expectations..

I assumed the Angels fans wouldn't have much animosity towards us, as there's kind of a quiet sympathy from other teams' fans for anyone that's still willing to wear the Royal Blue. I'm sure by the end of the 7th inning, though – as the Royals had jumped out to a 4-1 lead – it was quickly expiring. When Buck hit his home run in the top of the 9th, I think they were slowly resigning themselves to a loss. When Sweeney hit his bases clearing single-plus-error, well…we were ecstatic! The Angels fans, well…amid the (very) loud chorus of boos, someone behind us told us to "SHOVE IT UP YOUR BUTT." Ok then..

Having been a Royals fan for quite some time, I knew better than to get ahead of myself and start thinking about something like a win. The Angels fans around us, on the other hand, conceded the game right then and there.

"Well, that's it. You guys got this one. There's no WAY they can blow this one," the guy in front of me said.
"Ohhhh, they can," I said, "they definitely can. Trust me, I've seen it before."
"Nah, there's no way," he replied.

Can I stop and say something right now? The Rally Monkey? That is the most embarrassing thing I think I've ever seen at a sporting event. I mean, I almost felt my face turning red as all of these Angels fans went crazy every time his little monkey head appeared on something. It's too bad that an Angels fan can never really make fun of your team, since that monkey is sadder than pretty much everything else. Sucks for them.

So, anyway, while the monkey's head was jumping around to every video board in the stadium, Mike Wood came into the game with a fresh 8-3 lead. Walk, error, RBI single, single…in about 3 minutes, it's 8-4, bases loaded, and nobody out.

You've gotta be shittin' me, right?

Angels fans are going nuts. I looked at my girlfriend with my mouth hanging open. I don't think I even had time to say anything – it happened that quickly. All I could think was, "double-play ball, double-play ball, double-play ball, come on.."

Double-play ball was delivered.

And……..thrown into right field. It was out there forever, as the Royals had to run through a field made of jello to get to it, and an endless cycle of Angels continuously rounded the bases. I almost ate my hat. The tying run was suddenly there on 3rd base, with no outs.

That dull, gnawing pain of being a Royals fan forced me back into my seat.

The next batter drove in the tying run.
The Royals went down meekly in the 10th.

The game-ending blast by Dallas McPherson was pretty much an afterthought. Before he even got to home plate, before any fireworks reached the sky, I said a quick, "Let's go,", gathered our stuff, and we forced our way through a frenzied stadium. Fortunately, there was a fireworks display after the game, so there weren't as many fans pouring through the concourses as there normally would have been. They were so whipped up in their own excitement that nobody said anything to me as I trailed out of the stadium in a daze.

My girlfriend still wanted to go to the gift shop as we were leaving.

"Are we going to go get a t-shirt?" she asked.
"Sure, if you want to be another fake fan," I growled.

I mean, I actually don't like her wearing another team's shirt at all, but I was especially stunned after this game. I couldn't stomach buying an Angels shirt at that moment. After I said that, she refused to go into the gift shop, which is all the better as far as I'm concerned. You know, as much garbage as you have to put up with to be a fan of this team, I sure as hell don't want to be a part of supporting another one.

It was even hard to enjoy the way overpriced drinks at the ESPN SportsZone, with about 30 large TVs showing the botched double-play every couple of minutes. That, and the fact we were in Disney. That sure didn't help.

I was still mad about this game when I got up the next morning. No matter what happens, I think this one's going to sting for a long, long time..

Incredulously,
Joe Blow

Royal Blues on the road

Well, I'm off to L.A. and Arizona for a couple days, where I will be visiting Edison International Field to watch our boys take on the Angels. Hopefully they can take 2 out of 3 in Anaheim again, though I'll settle on at least Friday night (when I'm there). I'll be fortunate enough to catch the D.J. Carrasco show as the opening act.

I'm not sure how brutal the fans in Anaheim are, though any group of fans that root for a team owned by Disney and get fired up by a monkey can't be too awfully tough. In case a wandering TV camera starts panning for Royals fans, I'll be in the 2nd row of the very last section in the right field upper deck. Watch for a sharp-lookin' guy in a solid blue long sleeve Royals shirt and the black KC hat with the blue bill crashing the party in Anaheim. Can't miss me.

Sneakily,
Joe Blow

Joe Blow's Adult Baseball League (JBABL) Update #5

In which I go from batting 11th and getting yanked after 3 innings to batting 1st and becoming a game savior. Who knew?

First, we take care of the necessary clean-up:

Game #6: Them 5, Us 2
Team Record: 3-3

Offense

Blow, Joe: Did Not Play (trip to St. Louis)


My on-base skills were sorely missed.


Game #7: Us 12, Them 4
Team Record: 4-3

Offense

Blow, Joe: 1-2 (walk, ground out to 3rd)

Season-to-Date Totals (through game 7):

Avg: .214 (3 for 14)
OBP: .450
Slg: .214
OPS: .664
RBI: 5

I was a late scratch from my original starting spot in left field, being replaced by He Who Cannot Play Outfield. I was fortunate, though, that the powers that be threw a few crumbs my way and allowed me to drag my lowly self to right. I caught the only ball hit to me, walked to load the bases my first time up, then broke up a double play, which allowed a run to score.

Naturally, it was time to take me out.

Continuing the streak of insane batting lineups and inane player substitutions, I started, played well, and took a seat on the bench after three innings. Needless to say, I was furious. In the last four games, I had been the Extra Hitter twice, switched positions during the game (without warning or need), batted in the last spot 3 times, and was taken out after 3 innings. Wouldn't want the room mothers' (managers) kids to have to sit out a whole game or anything like some of the other guys. No sir.

So, I handled it in my normal way – I sat on the bench and wouldn't talk to anyone. Honestly, I started wondering what I was doing, why I was there, and why it never seems to fail that no matter what sports venture I set out on, it always ends in bitterness and an acute sense of foolishness. As in, why do I delude myself into thinking I'll actually find a team that knows what the fuck they're doing and doesn't play favorites with all of their buddies that I have no interest in being? I didn't really give a shit what happened on the field, and I sure didn't want to talk to the ladies that run the team at that moment; they would have done well to stay clear of the dugout. I didn't want to be there at all.

While I was on the bench, I packed up all my stuff, put my keys in my back pocket, and prepared to make a mad dash out of there as soon as the game was over. And, after the obligatory handshake, I did just that. The main manager was handing something over the dugout to some of the guys. She started to offer whatever it was to me and remind me that the next game was the following night until she caught the look of disgust on my face and heard my abbreviated reply.

"Are you all right?" she asked.
"I'm fine," I said, as I continued walking towards the gate.
"You sure? What's wrong, is something wrong?"
"I'm fine."
"See you at the game tomorrow?"

I nodded and continued on. It was obvious to her that I was very pissed off. I'm not one to make a scene most of the time, so that small (non) event above is usually about the extent of it. I thought on the way home of what I would say the next day if she brought anything up. Basically, it would have been along the lines of, "I come here to play, not to watch every other game from the bench. I've been through that bullshit enough, and I'm really not interested in going through it again. If there's no spot for me, then why did you pick me up?"

I was still mad the next day when I got up. Since I didn't get home until after midnight the night before and had to work all day, my uniform was still covered in dust and dried blood. I remembered having to peel my sock from my knee when I got home after the game, as it had dried to the large abrasion that, apparently, will never heal. Especially if I keep sliding on it (note to self: stop doing that.) I chugged home from work, scarfed down a sandwich, threw on the uniform, and prepared for the best.

Game #8: Us 14, Them 13
Team Record: 5-3

Offense

Blow, Joe: 0-2 (walk, intentional walk, reached on error, fly out (into double play))

Season-to-Date Totals (through game 8):

Avg: .188 (3 for 16)
OBP: .458
Slg: .188
OPS: .646
RBI: 5

What a terrible field. I think my favorite parts would have to include:

1) the permanently sealed restrooms (complete with "CLOSED" stencil)
2) the moat and drainage pipe behind 1st base
3) the tire tracks in front of 2nd base
4) Left-field Foul Territory Hill

Not to mention the precautions you had to take when sliding to make sure you didn't end up inside your own burial plot. The dirt was seriously about 4-5 inches thick, and not really dirt anyway. I found out the dangers early, after I walked to open the game and later tried to score from 3rd on a wild pitch. The footing? Not so good. Now, I told you a couple games ago that someone was going to get thrown out trying to score on a wild pitch. You knew it would be me. The poor footing, combined with the short distance to the backstop, was bad enough. The fact that the ball popped straight in the air and was basically waiting for the catcher when he got back there meant I was a dead duck. After a quick slide into home, I was left to once again stop the bleeding on my knee with my sock.

The sun, of course, was shining directly towards left field all game. The good news? I got to play the whole game. The bad news? Of course I was in left field! It was pretty rough, though all I did throughout the game was field grounders and line drive base-hits.

A suprising thing, though? After my elegant performance the night before, I moved from 11th in the batting order...to first. You wouldn't believe what a difference that makes. It's a completely different feeling. I imagined the other team to have an idea about me, and it wasn't, "Last batter! Easy out!" It was more like, "Dangerous batter. Lead-off guy. Be careful." And it worked. I never felt uncomfortable on any pitch, like I was ready for anything they could throw to me. I walked the first time up, hit a smash to 2nd (though it was right at the guy, which he misplayed), was intentionally walked the 3rd time (to load the bases, but still...give me something), and hit a fly ball right at the right fielder the 4th time.

The best part, though, was still to come.

It was an inordinately sloppy game on both sides. What was especially frustrating was that while the fielders on the left side were battling the sun on every pitch, the rest of the infielders played with their concentration obviously focused somewhere else. There were a sad number of easy, ground ball outs that went over, under, off of, and past the gloves of various infielders. The game should never have been that close.

My 2nd favorite part of the game happened when I was coaching third base one inning. Pregnant man, who is easily the fattest and slowest guy on the team, has an odd affection for bunting. He'll do it with two strikes, with a runner on 2nd with 2 outs – basically anytime when it's the stupidest. So, he tries to bunt once again in this game with two strikes, fouls it off, and gives away a ridiculous out. Two guys from the other team were sitting on the bench behind me, and this was their exchange:

Guy 1: Who bunts with two strikes? Why'd he do that?
Guy 2: Because he's a short, fat fuck that has nothing to look forward to in life.

I didn't want to start cracking up right on the field, so I just kind of turned around and smiled.

Flash forward to the bottom of the last inning. We were the visiting team, and took the field clinging to a 3-run lead. After a few extraordinarily ridiculous errors allowed runners to reach, everyone got to witness what will probably be my lone attempt at throwing someone out at the plate. It was a good one, too. I mean, I'm pretty sure the throw (from short left field) was going to reach the catcher on the fly. The base runner was still a couple steps away, and I stood there waiting to see it actually happen.

What I saw was the pitcher, who was standing on the infield grass on the side of the pitcher's mound, leap high into the air and tip the ball with his glove. So, not only was everybody safe, but I just stood there kind of dazed. How could he?

With 2 outs, runners on 2nd and 3rd, we clung desperately to a 1-run lead. The sun had thankfully set an inning ago, and I was remarkably calm. Which worked out well when the batter laced a line drive towards the left center-field gap. I'm not really sure why nerves didn't get to me, but it was a thing of beauty as I waltzed confidently and stood at the exact spot the ball was travelling, snagged it, and just like that the game was over. It was great – there was absolutely nothing in my mind while the ball was in the air. Almost zen-like.

I think it helped that I didn't realize it was the last inning.

Still, everyone was thrilled, high-fiving me left and right. "I was SURE that ball was in the gap when he hit it," was the concensus from everyone. "I was just thinking, don't hit it to me, don't hit it to me" was what another guy told me. And, just like that, I was the game's savior. Just by sheer force of being able to catch the ball. Isn't it funny how quickly things change?

For a day, anyway.

Confidently,
Joe Blow

I fully intended to update once I reached my hotel on Thursday night. Yep, a lone man in a new town with some fine hand-crafted beer and nothing better to do – sounds like my idea of posting time. Instead, I spent my eagerly anticipated wandering-around-a-strange-city time (ok, so st. louis isn't strange, just crappy) and my sitting-around-a-free-hotel time…well, sitting on I-70. Seems a cement truck driver found the one-lane construction-reduced highway outside of Columbia to be a perfect place to lose his mixer and set his truck on fire. That was fun. At least the Royals won, so the sports talk radio wasn't too unbearable while we sat. And, once I finally arrived in town, I lucked into finding some Schlafly Coffee Stout at a Schnucks down the street from the hotel. I really didn't think there would be any left of the coffee stout (it's a seasonal) – plus, it wasn't too bad. I've never had a great Schlafly brew, but some of their stuff is pretty decent. And, really, you can probably consider yourself lucky I didn't try to post towards the end of my coffee stout experience. but I sure was tempted.

Anyway, how about those Royals? They've actually been playing pretty decently. I don't buy into any part of the "well, teams always play better for an interim manager when the old manager is fired/quits" (how often do they quit, anyway?) idea that seems to be the agreed-upon explanation on the local message boards. That, basically, is ridiculous. Not much more than that.

I do like a lot of the things Bob Schaefer has done lately, as far as the new lineup and some of the day-to-day pitching moves. It doesn't always work, but you've seen the team the Royals put together this year, right? Exactly. I think there's a lot to be said for the amazing coincidence that the Royals started hitting a lot better once there was someone actually putting the team together in a sensible order. And no more of this Dee Brown / Calvin Pickering / etc. nonsense, where the guys that are up from the minors to be given the opportunity to prove themselves end up playing in 2 out of every 7 games, with a few random pinch-hit at-bats sprinkled in at the end of lost games. A guy will never succeed like that, yet that's been Standard Royal Procedure for-goddamn-ever. Batting averages based on less than 50 at-bats are notoriously brutal – I'm going to point to my JBABL stats so far to lend credence to that.

Speaking of which, both of those concepts – lack of regular playing time, ridiculously small sample size of at-bats – are currently working together to make my adult baseball league experiment extremely frustrating at the moment. After last night's game, I'm just about fed up. Just like a lot of marginal Royals prospects have experience upon reaching the big leagues, knowing that each and every step you make is going to be micro-analyzed and result in the next 4 days off if it's not wildly successful makes it a little hard to even play, let alone succeed. And, sometimes, just the fact that you're not a prospect dooms you to never getting a real opportunity. It's amazing what's happened to Emil Brown, Matt Diaz, David DeJesus (last season), and even Raul Ibanez a few seasons ago when they were actually allowed to play almost every day without having to look over their shoulders constantly. When you're always doing that, it makes it hard to pay attention to what's in front of you. And, yes, I realize that Diaz and Brown have only stepped up in a very limited number of games so far, but I've definitely noticed a difference in both now that they've been allowed to play regularly. Hopefully they'll succeed – of course, that's pretty much the Official Royal Motto.

In my case, during the last 4 games, I've been the extra-hitter twice, shuffled around the outfield during game #3, and only allowed to play 3 innings of game #4. I've also occupied the last spot in the lineup in 3 of the 4 games. Basically, I know I'm never going to get regular playing time no matter what, which is even worse than trying to win a spot. Right now, it doesn't seem like I'm even going to be allowed to compete. I don't know – I'll post more on this tomorrow. I have another game tonight, so at the least, I'll gain a little more perspective on the situation. Or quit.

Reluctantly,
Joe Blow

Joe Blow's Adult Baseball League (JBABL) Update #4

This will be the last other-baseball-league update before we get back to the regular Royals noise around here - mostly because I'll be leaving for a short trip to st. louis and have to skip my own game tomorrow night. So, while I'm (hopefully) enjoying a nice Schlafly beer and (hopefully) watching the Apprentice season 3 finale in my hotel room tomorrow night...i'm hopefully wishing for rain! Sure wouldn't want my team to have to play without me..

And, since I won't have any of my own baseball to concern myself with until next week, maybe I'll take advantage of the hotel's free high-speed internet and actually say a word or two about the Royals..

Anyway, a double-header last weekend - of which we won both! Down to the nitty-gritty:

Game #4: Us 11, Them 5
Team Record: 2-2

Offense

Blow, Joe: 2-3 (2 singles, K, 2 RBI)

Season-to-Date Totals (through game 4):

Avg: .273 (3 for 11)
OBP: .467
Slg: .273
OPS: .739
RBI: 5

This game, I finally started getting back into the habit of actually remembering to try to hit the ball out in *front* of me while I was still at-bat, rather than on the long, slow walk to the dugout after triggering a hair too late and letting the pitch eat me up, as has been the case so far. I also made a conscientious effort to make sure I'm watching the ball all the way from the pitcher's hand, instead of picking it up after it's already been released. coincidentally, two two-out RBI base-hits! although, after hitting a solid single up the middle on the first at-bat, I hesitated coming around first, saw the centerfielder misplay the ball when it hit the lip on the infield grass, and made a lame duck attempt at trying to take 2nd. of course, you only realize you've really bit it about ¾ of the way there, and I was out by a good 3 steps. hey, at least the run scored!

I also promised myself this game that all sliding would be done head-first, since I got a nice strawberry on my knee last game trying to steal a base, and it hadn't healed yet. so, then I slid feet-first trying to take 2nd, and returned to the dugout to find a nice, uh, "full" band-aid on my knee. luckily I had plenty of time to nurture myself back to health...

...because I was the goddamn Extra Hitter again. it's not as bad right now because I know I'm the new kid on the team, but it burns me up when the same guys get an automatic spot no matter how they play. the worst part about being the EH is that, aside from watching kids screw up your position, this lady automatically bats you last. I was pretty steamed during the game, and I sat on the very end of the bench to make sure the managers wouldn't talk to me. I mean, I do that anyway, but I think it was a little more noticeable when I was the only person on it.

A pretty good game, though. What could top it? Why, Game 5, of course..


Game 5: Us 9, Them 7
Team Record: 3-2

Offense

Blow, Joe: 0-2 (BB, K, ground out, 1 run scored)

Season-to-Date Totals (through game 5):

Avg: .231 (3 for 13)
OBP: .444
Slg: .231
OPS: .675
RBI: 5

The good: I led off the top of the last inning and drew a walk when our team was down 7-4.

The bad: I'll be remembered for two things in this game -

1. Dropping a fly ball in the bottom of the 6th after losing it in the sun (allowing 2 runs to score)

2. Not attempting to score on a wild pitch in the top of the 7th (last) inning with the bases loaded, nobody out, down by 3

Pretty rough. I actually got to start in left field, where I began the game by slightly misplaying an odd bounce on a line drive (nobody took an extra base, though), and pulling up short of a couple potential shoe-string-catch line drives that, obviously, everyone else on the team would have tried to catch and had the ball roll for a triple when they missed it - I thought holding guys to singles was good? I watched that play *way* too many times in softball last year, and I'm not about to make it.

in my defense on the misplay, I will say that, honestly, I could barely feel my fingers. and, no, it wasn't cold. it's just that, well, I started the day feeling a little rough after a night of slightly heavy drinking the previous evening, then ingested a lot of caffeine. in fact, I had some extra no-doz type caffeine pills in my bat-bag, and while I wasted away the innings on the bench during game 1 of the afternoon, I think I took a couple too many. and that's saying something for me, because I regularly drink large quantities of coffee all day long. anyway, by that point I was feeling a little shaky and a lot...odd.

I actually moved up to 7th in the order this game (based on my dynamite performance in game 1, coupled with the fact I wasn't the EH), and proceeded to strike out by taking a couple questionable strikes and missing a curve ball. badly.

then the "talk" started.

while we were batting in the top of the 3rd, I heard the manager lady say to the guy who couldn't play centerfield worth anything in game one, "yeah, you're going in to left next inning". I wasn't even going to say anything. I just decided maybe she meant "left side of the infield", or...fuck it, I knew what she meant. I was getting taken out after two innings. I was livid.

after we were retired in the top of the 3rd, sure enough, he trotted out to left. I stood there, grabbing the fence, waiting for someone to say something to me as i watched this unfold. they sat on the bleachers, snacking away. I looked at anyone, waiting for a response. finally, eyes clenched, an indignant scowl on my face, I pointed and said, "You put him in?" very eloquent, I must say.

"oh, yeah, you're going to right field. I meant to tell you. sorry about that!"

what the fuck? jesus christ.

anyway, I slowly staked my place in right field, and watched each inning as the sun gently crept down the sky until, by about the 6th inning, it was perched happily just over the tall trees that looked over the field from behind the right-handed batters. in other words, the sun was directly in front of the right fielder (me), and about ¾ of the way down the sky. combined with the glare off of the concession stand roof, which rests about 5 feet above the batter's head (and also directly in front of the right fielder), I seriously hoped that I could be nothing more than a place-holder the rest of the game.

cue forward to the bottom of the 6th: down by 1, our pitcher allowed the first 2 runners on - one, I must mention, because the guy that took my place in left field actually charged a fly ball that landed just in front of the warning track. I mean, seriously, the guy can't play outfield! goddamn.

anyway, naturally the next ball hit is a high fly ball to me, and I saw it all the way until it was maybe 10-15 above me. then, nothing. I couldn't see a thing. it was lost to the sunlight completely. I stuck my glove in the air, half-defensively, and felt it glance off the very tip. afterward, nobody really said anything to me. they just, kind of, didn't talk to me.

I was vindicated the next inning when the right fielder on the other team did the exact same thing. of course, to guys on my team, it was because he "sucked, really bad", but he had obviously put his arms in front of his face as the ball came down so that he wouldn't get smashed.

anyway, like I said earlier, I led off the top of our last inning by drawing a walk. the guy after me had apparently (to most of us anyway) drawn a walk as well, with the home-plate umpire even pointing him down to first base. except that his pointing was really him calling a late, silent strike call. I realized this when I was about halfway to 2nd base and had to make a mad dash back to first, seeing as how I was a live runner and all. I probably could have made it to 2nd, but everybody was a little confused, so they didn't think to throw it back to 1st soon enough. at least i was still safe, that's all i have to say.

eventually, I made it to 3rd, and we had the bases loaded, 0 outs, down by 3. that's when the pitcher threw a wild pitch to the backstop. now, I must mention, this is not the backstop at royals stadium. in fact, it's not very deep at all, and I honestly can't believe that no one ever gets thrown out trying to take home plate on these plays. no matter what, though, I wasn't interested in trying to score on a wild pitch with the tying run on first base and no one out. so, I stayed put on 3rd when he threw one. naturally, my teammates (on the 1st base bench) were jumping all over themselves. I just stuck my hands out and shrugged my shoulders, like, "what?!"

I ended up scoring on the play where their right fielder lost the ball in the sun, we eventually scored 5 runs in the inning and held on for a 9-7 win, and everybody was really excited. I even had a couple of guys come up to me and say, "I liked your decision not to try to score with the bases loaded." and that, my friends, is what I'll take for vindication these days..

winningly,
Joe Blow

Joe Blow's Adult Baseball League Update #3

Three scheduled games since the last update; 1.4 actually played! We will begin with the ok one, followed by the good one that didn't count..

Game 3:
Final Score: Us 14, Them 6

Team Record: 1-2

Joe Blow's Offensive Stats:

Game 3: 0-1 (K, 2 BB)

Season Totals:
Avg.: .000
OBP: .400
Slg.: .000
OPS: .400
RBI: 1

You know, I just carry the bat to the plate to give off the illusion I might hit the ball. No hitting actually occurred in the playing of this game. I managed to stake my claim this time to the demeaning role of "extra hitter", as we had 10 guys show up for the game. never mind the fact that some of these guys show up to about 1 of every 3 games, or that a few of them can't possibly play the field at any position. yes, the new guy gets to sit the bench until it's his time to hit. add to that the insult of not just being the extra hitter, but batting 10th out of 10, and you can extrapolate my mindset once this game started.

I don't know why I even try to keep statistics. it's really just for my own amusement. one of the manager ladies for this team keeps a scorebook, but she constantly has to ask about actual rules of the game, so I can pretty much guarantee you she has no idea how to accurately score the game. not to mention the guys on the team; during game #3, one guy on the bench actually said this:

"Yeah, I have an on-base percentage of 1.000. I've either got a hit, or walked, or got hit by a pitch every time up so far."

let me just take a second here: hahahahahaha.

ok. give me a break. dude, nobody on this team can hit, and you guys RARELY reach base. not every time: more like, barely *any* time. he also said, "well, I've only been up 5 times anyway." um, I batted 7 times in the first two games alone, and he hits ahead of me in the order. do outs not count as at-bats? that would probably explain it. but, then came this gem from another guy:

"Yeah, I have a .533 batting average, and a .667 on-base percentage. of course, I don't count errors or anything in my calculations."

ha. .533 batting average – um, I don't remember *any* of your hits, let alone the idea that you've been on base more than, like, once in the games so far. and, you know, errors count for something, i think. these are the eggheads I have to deal with. trust me: despite the fact that I had been on base as much as anyone in the lineup at that point, the idea that I reached on walks means i never reached base at all, and (for the other guys) the other teams' errors/fielder's choices/dropped 3rd strike at bats were "hits". because the guys on my team swung the bat. I'm surprised those guys even knew the term "on-base percentage". of course, I wouldn't actually expect them to know how to calculate it.

anyway, you know, there I was on the bench, getting steamed about being the "extra hitter" at the bottom of the lineup. sure, put the pregnant looking guy at shortstop, put the guy that always wants a "courtesy" runner to run the bases for him in left field. god forbid you put a solid defender in the game at key positions. luckily, my clumsy slow replacement got bored of standing in left field after two innings, so I got to play the remaining 5 innings standing around, doing a whole lot of nothing. apparently, guys in this league haven't caught up to the 55 mph fastball yet, so nobody ever pulls the ball. I fielded a grounder that got by the pregnant man at shortstop, and a line drive on two hops. that was it.

when I fielded that line drive, the batter took a big turn around first just as I grabbed the ball. I was going to softly toss it in to the cut-off (pregnant) man – just an easy throw, seeing as how it's never a good idea to show the other team what kind of arm you have until absolutely necessary, so they'll be off-guard as far as your prospective chances of throwing them out – but, when the guy took an aggressive turn around 1st, I double-clutched the ball and got ready to throw it to 2nd base instead. keep in mind, I'm in pretty shallow left-field at this point; the throw to 2nd was about 20 feet further than the throw to pregnant man. the runner halted his advance.

pregnant man: GET THE BALL IN HERE, NOW!!
me: Why, he isn't going!?

and then I returned to my spot. and I mostly stood there, getting pissed off that Dumpy – despite the fact that I've now watched him completely drop a fly ball after it bounced off of his glove, botch a number of ground balls (or just plain not attempt to get to them, including one earlier that night), and repeatedly try to pretend like he's a switch-hitter when he bats, even though he can't hit from either side – yell at me in front of the team for not throwing the ball to his stupid ass. that shit doesn't help me, because the people running the team don't know that much about baseball, so if Stubby yells, he must be right. goddammit.

anyway, we actually won that game. no thanks to the rest of the team while I was on the bases: if we didn't score on passed balls and wild pitches, we'd NEVER score. I was on base 2 out of 3 times, and nobody *ever* moved me up a base through either hitting the ball or drawing a walk. it's all strikeouts and wild pitches.

walks are like death here. walks, seemingly, rank lower on the scale than embarrassingly bad strikeouts and lazy pop-ups to the catcher. but, you know, the catcher has that complicated glove and all, so he has to make a good play to catch it..

of course, god forbid our catchers actually block pitches or make any kind of defensive play at all.

I used to play catcher back in the day – WAY back, I'm talking from t-ball to coaches pitch to bantams – and, even though I haven't played it for years, I still know that it's not that hard to keep pitches in front of you at this level. it just takes: 1) concentration 2) effort 3) disregard for personal comfort. I mean, you can't block everything, but it's not that hard in the local rec circuit.

you wouldn't know it from this league. aside from the fact that I can pretty much steal bases at will (when I'm not hitting behind the biggest, slowest guy on the team – hey, this 10th spot could work out well after all..), none of the catchers really make that much attempt to stop every other pitch from going to the screen. it's ridiculous, and kind of insulting. especially when these pitcher and catcher guys try to talk to each other as if they're "calling" the game and "setting people up" with pitches and all that. hell, maybe they think they are. I think they would be better served by actually, you know, throwing strikes. cause that shit's a rarity around these parts.

we were supposed to play a double-header last Sunday. we made it through 3 innings of the 1st game before the rain came down and stopped play. here are the stats through 3 innings:

Game 4:
Us 14, Them 2 (3 innings)

Team Record: 1-2 (not an official game)

Joe Blow's Offensive Stats:

Game 4: 1-2 (fielder's choice, single, 2 RBI, 2 stolen bases, 1 run scored)

Season Totals:
Avg.: .125
OBP: .417
Slg.: .125
OPS: .542
RBI: 3
SB: 2

I came up in the 2nd inning with a runner on 3rd and 1 out, and grounded into a fielder's choice that scored a run. my question is: if a hitter hits a fly ball that scores a run, or bunts a runner to another base, they're credited with a sacrifice and not an official at-bat. what about a ground ball that scores a run? you don't think *that* could be on purpose, too? I knew if I put the ball in play, it would score a run, and after fighting off a few pitches, that's what I did. yet, it counts against my average and as an official at-bat. kind of a dumb rule in that regard.

anyway, the brain trust at the head of our organization put pregnant man in left field this time, while I lucked into staking out right field. it was extremely windy, which meant no one (our team or the other one) could catch anything hit to left. pretty sad, really, to watch from right. i guarantee i won't be with this team next year, so i won't miss the whole "watch this team screw up really, really bad on just about every play" thing.

anyway, after blooping a single in the 3rd, I stole some bases, and scored the final run in the bottom of the 3rd on a passed ball. we were, apparently, up 14-2 by that point, but as we ran to take the field in the top of the 4th, the rain started. and, within a minute, poured. I looked to the umpires. no signal. great. one batter up, two pitches later, they called it. I huddled in an odd spot just in front of our bench, as the rain was blowing in from the back of the dugout as well as pouring over from the roof. there was very limited space that provided any kind of protection.

eventually they cancelled the game altogether, and it was ruled "unofficial", since it didn't go the required amount of innings (whatever that is). but, honestly, I'd like to keep the stats. it's not like I'm angling for a contract or anything anyway..so, it counts. now, to fix the fact that all my hits are bloops..

dutifully,
Joe Blow

It's certainly been an extremely busy week for all things outside of Royal Blues -- which means it's been pretty vacant here. Has it been over a week since I posted? That's not really the plan, but, you know, "free entertainment" and all that. Thankfully, in the meantime, someone was nice enough to list my humble little site on Baseball Blogs, which has like doubled my page views while I haven't been posting (whatever that's supposed to say..). yep, one day I even made it to double-digits! I've truly reached the pinnacle.

Anyway, due to my prolonged "royals road trip"-style absence, you can use this post as a clearinghouse for archival royal links to past catastrophes. Reminisce uncomfortably while slowly watching the season die through the Royal Record countdown.

Also, an inside source has provided me with information that something big may have happened after the May 10 loss to Toronto. I am checking into this, and will report back with any late-breaking developments as they occur. (note: if the report comes in after lunch tomorrow, it'll probably be a little more, uh, "festive". just sayin..)

So, via the links below, feel free to enjoy the past 9 games all over again. From walking in the tying and go-ahead runs in the bottom of the 8th, to blowing an 8-1 lead, to *gasp* one lone victory, to losing our Head Cheerleader…it's all here! Is it any wonder I don't try to write about all these games?

Chicago 5, Kansas City 4
Royal Record: 7-19

Chicago 4, Kansas City 2
Royal Record: 7-20

Chicago 2, Kansas City 1
Royal Record: 7-21

Baltimore 3, Kansas City 1
Royal Record: 7-22

Baltimore 5, Kansas City 3
Royal Record: 7-23

Kansas City 10, Baltimore 8
Royal Record: 8-23

Toronto 6, Kansas City 1
Royal Record: 8-24

Toronto 3, Kansas City 1
Royal Record: 8-25

Toronto 12, Kansas City 9
Royal Record: 8-26

Hopefully back tomorrow!

Exhaustively,
Joe Blow

Cleveland 6, Kansas City 0
Royal Record: 5-18

Kansas City 9, Cleveland 1
Royal Record: 6-18

Kansas City 6, Cleveland 5
Royal Record: 7-18

Nothing like a two-game winning streak to quiet the chattering masses of Royals fans – seemed to be a noticeable drop-off in posts on the message boards and weblogs in general. count me among those – not really much to say about the weekend, I don't think. always nice to see them win, even if I only caught parts of two games. I listened on Saturday as I drove to my game, catching Harvey's grand slam and Marrero's follow-up shot. great moments, of course, though it's moments like these that hover in people's minds a little too long when it comes to arguing Royals-related points. not that I'm one of the types that's absolutely convinced harvey can or can't succeed, or that marrero was a giant waste of money – they're just nice moments in a long production of a season. that's about all I have to say right now. I don't have any kind of point to prove about the relative worth of either of them. I'd just like to see them succeed, that's all.

I listened Sunday as lima had a no-hitter through 5 innings, then left to take a bike ride through the local neighborhoods with the 'lil lady. yep, right after the 5th. I figured, sure, I'd be all over the place if I had missed lima throwing a no-hitter – and he is pretty much one of the only two pitchers (anderson being the other) who would possibly be allowed to pitch a full nine innings given how limiting the royals are with the other guys – but, you know, what are the chances of that? all I ended up doing is saving myself from watching the five-run 5th. I came back to see burgos close it out, and while I'm never going to complain about a 1-2-3 inning, it's obvious there will be nights he'll walk guys just like all the other royals relievers we've grown fond of. not much more than that.

* * * * * *

Official JBABL stats: Game 2

Them 15, Us 5 (stopped after 6 innings due to score)

Team Record: 0-2

Offense

Blow, Joe: 0-3 (K, pop out, ground out)

Season:
Avg.: .000
OBP: .286
Slg.: .000
OPS: .286
RBI: 1

I hate odd stat lines like that at the beginning of the season. My hitting was pretty bad Saturday. I got rang up on a borderline outside pitch on my first at-bat (I'm learning that umpires in this league are very generous when pitches come somewhere around the plate). the second time I swung at a low, outside pitch and *almost* dropped it into right field, and the third time I just barely hit a roller about halfway between third and the pitcher's mound.

I'm afraid next game I'm gonna have to play like a real asshole. yep, I'm just going up there hacking. no one knows the difference anyway, and at least if they see me swinging they'll think I'm up there trying to hit a home run every time just like everyone else. I mean, I'll still be selective, but at least for the next game, there's no more taking close pitches early in the at-bat and trying to work the count. I'm up there swinging away from pitch 1. I mean, when I'm not swinging and missing, I can ground out with the best of them – exactly like the rest of the team!

I'm really, really disappointed with how this team is turning out. apparently the flashes of "decent team" I saw in the preseason games were a great illusion. Once this team gets into the regular season, I don't know, they just panic. they can't make pitches or plays worth anything. no wonder they've been so horrible the last couple years before now.

At least I've been absolutely solid in the field so far: no errors, a couple nice catches on hard-hit smashes on Saturday, and not a single base-runner has attempted to take an extra base on a ball hit to me in any game this year. part of that is because I'm in left field, but I play every ball exactly how it's supposed to be played and come up ready to throw.

Of course, in the midst of our thrashings, there always seems to be something that happens in each game you can file under "little things that really piss you off". this game it was a statement from one of the guys in the dugout, who felt it necessary to mention to everyone that, "we really suck at defense! our defense is terrible, we can't make any plays!" this right after the inning where I speared a couple line drives given up by our pitchers. it's like, hey guy, feel free to speak for yourself, but the outfield guys haven't missed a play yet, including two separate times where a runner should have been out at third and at home, but the infielder never bothered to catch the ball. and the runners were out by 3-4 steps each time, so it wasn't close. on a side note, the outfield in the last game consisted of me and two guys from completely different teams, who were filling in because we were short. we'll revert back to comical misplays and shockingly bad decisions next game when the regulars return.

well, another thing that got to me last game involved the guy I wrote about that had absolutely no idea how to play centerfield in game 1. he apparently felt the need to start positioning the outfielders from his perch at 2nd base a couple of innings into the game. I HATE that. I'm pretty sure that I know as much as anyone on the team on where guys should be playing, especially myself. he started motioning for all the outfielders to move in at one point, and when he got to me I just looked at him as he waved his glove towards his face. he did it again. I looked at him and took a trivial half step sideways. he gave up. it's like, dude, I saw you play centerfield, you have no clue how to play outfield at all. it reminded me of last year, when I almost got into what would have been a very regrettable scrap with this really trashy guy on my softball team that felt like he was god's gift to outfield management. which he attempted to enforce on every single play. non-stop. in the last game, I finally shouted to him, "why don't you worry about yourself?" naturally, Scummy wanted to fight me as soon as we got back to the dugout. luckily I didn't, or else I'd probably be covered in some kind of incurable skin lesions right now.

hopefully no one will come to blows this season. but, if there's a bright side, at least some of the guys on this team seem halfway clean..

Peacefully,
Joe Blow

seeing as how I get half of my, like, 6 hits a day off of odd web searches (most dealing with my very drunken all-star game ramblings last year concerning players not on the royals), I figured I'd try to help out my fellow web surfers on their search for further enlightenment. so, with my random readers' best interests in mind, here are some answers to your various queries:

how the fuck much money does that carlos pena guy make?

well, in fact, he's making $2,575,000 in 2005. for future reference, this site seems to be a good one for finding this kind of information.

speaking of carlos pena, remember when he was the favorite whipping boy for sites like baseball prospectus? well, ok, "whipping boy" is more like a guy taking punishment. I meant, more like, one of those guys that (especially since he was on the Oakland A's) just about every saber-type site hyped like there was no downside to him. not that I want to spend too much time searching, but he was all over the top of the heap of "potential break-out stars" a couple years back. even rany loved him (you have to scroll down for the pena love). yeah, he's certainly torn up the league since then – who's to say we couldn't have gotten him for jeff suppan?

anyway, looking at trades such as last year, where the A's sent mike wood and mark teahen to the royals in the carlos beltran trade and all they got was octavio dotel – who, besides making $4,750,000 this season, didn't contribute much when he initially pitched for the A's (his end stats look a lot better than I remember them being in important A's games when he came over), the A's also make deals where they acquire guys like mark ellis for angel berroa (oh, sure, there was that Johnny damon for Roberto Hernandez for Ben Grieve thing, but all of those guys kinda suck and washed out for the A's and Royals and Devil Rays). and, after a couple non-productive seasons from ellis, you'd have to say the royals got the best of that deal so far.

and then there's this about our man Carlos Pena:

July 5, 2002: Traded by the Oakland Athletics with a player to be named later and Franklyn German to the Detroit Tigers for Jeff Weaver and cash. The Oakland Athletics sent Jeremy Bonderman (minors) (August 22, 2002) to the Detroit Tigers to complete the trade.

so, let me get this straight: the A's traded former saber-superstar Carlos Pena, Franklyn German, and Jeremy Bonderman for Jeff Weaver and cash. WTF? let's see, for Jeff Weaver they ended up getting:

July 5, 2002: Traded by the Oakland Athletics to the New York Yankees for Ted Lilly, Jason Arnold (minors), and John-Ford Griffin (minors).

for lilly, they got bobby kielty, who's been a part-time player; they sent Jason Arnold to the Blue Jays for Erubiel Durazo (indirectly), and traded John-Ford Griffin for Jason Perry, who has done fairly well at the A level, and is currently in AA. so, basically, they sent three current major leaguers to the tigers (and, in bonderman, a potential 1-2 starter) for a $5 million DH, a 4th outfielder, and a player in AA.

so, they managed to find three star pitchers at the same time. they managed to get some top prospects for two of them (mulder and hudson, obviously), and zito's been average so far this year, but getting prospects for those guys is a product of finding them in the first place, not necessarily a further reflection of their skill at finding talent. they make mistakes, too; it would be nice if people weren't so inclined to glorify them on every move they make.

anyway, random person, hope I helped you with your carlos pena salary information! thanks for stopping by!

some more searches:

roger clemens shower

talk to tony pena! he may be able to help..

"allard baird" asshole

he very well may be. right now, he's just slow to learn how to conduct a youth movement. I mean, "the plan". it is in place, this "the plan". don't disparage it!

"denys reyes" right arm

ah, denys reyes. the guy that broke a collarbone and switched to throwing left-handed – is that what you wanted to know about his right arm? this was probably my girlfriend's favorite royals player, seeing as how she's only been following them the last 2 years now. especially funny when he would fall off the mound every once in a while..

"KEN HARVEY" RELAY PITCHERS FACE

he nailed Jason grimsley. funny as shit, especially considering who he took out. come on, dummy grimsley, you know Harvey can't field that well! oh, I guess that's part of the reason why he's a dummy..

stupid pitcher KC royals

hint: it's all of them.

Kansas City Royals Suck
royals suck
why the royals suck
the kansas city royals suck
royals suck

do you really need to look this up to know why?

helpfully,
Joe Blow

Minnesota 9, Kansas City 4
Royal Record: 5-16

Minnesota 6, Kansas City 5 (11 innings)
Royal Record: 5-17


I think one of the hardest things about being an intelligent baseball fan is overcoming the fact that most of the players aren't. As you move up the ranks of baseball, you expect this to be less of the case, which is why it's frustrating to see major league baseball players make the same mistakes as my adult rec league team.

Yes, it's a little dramatic to make the leap from comparing the royals to my team, but if you've played or watched baseball at the lowest levels (we're talking about my team here), you understand the mentality that a lot of these guys take into their professional careers – the aggressive, offensive scheme of hitting, diving, and attempting to be spectacular at all times, completely disregarding the more subtle, intelligent approaches that breed winning baseball teams. They seem to be pretty widespread things, the type of things that have to be coached out of a player – whether it's from outside coaching or simply from within the player himself – and you expect that when you watch professional teams, the players should possess an excellent knowledge of the game.

In some, this is true. Unfortunately, by the time you reach the major leagues, sometimes it's not through understanding and knowledge, but simply through physical talents (i.e. "tools" players). The combination of these two, baseball intelligence and physical talent, is seemingly rare. It's still not an excuse.

I'm sure other teams have players do the same things quite a bit, but since most fans watch their team much, much more than other teams, it seems like your team makes many more mistakes than others. Which, in the case of the Royals, may very well be true. In the last game I watched, I saw Matt Diaz (not to single him out, it's just the most recent thing I noticed) take a terrible path to field a line drive to left. Instead of moving laterally and getting in front of a hard-hit ball before charging forward, he took a strictly diagonal path, which resulted in the ball bouncing just out of reach of his glove, all the way to the fence, resulting in a double and runs scored. While dropping a fly ball is easily noticed as an error, this is just as much of one, as you're giving preventable free bases. It doesn't show up anywhere, though.

The most frustrating thing is that it's exactly something I see happen during my teams' games.

By the way, in our last game, we lost 12-11 in 8 innings (standard games are 7 innings). Here's my official *Regular Season* stats through one game:

Team Record: 0-1

Offense

Blow, Joe: 0-2 (2 BB, K, reached on error, 1 RBI)

Season:
Avg: .000
OBP: .500
Slg: .000
OPS: .500
RBI: 1

Can you say, "sample size"? I love odd stat-lines like that at the beginning of the season. On defense, I again made no errors, but I also only had one put-out opportunity, which was an adventure in fighting the lights. Unfortunately, I got kind of screwed on that strikeout – I came up to bat first in the top of the last inning, our team down by two, and the clock reading 11:30 P.M. Our home-plate umpire, who, by the way, was getting paid to be at this game, apparently decided anything close was going to be a strike, since if we failed to score two the game would end. So, after taking two pitches at eye level, the next two pitches were a good 5-6 inches outside. Strikes, of course. With a 2-2 count, I ended up swinging a pitch so far outside I couldn't reach it, but I knew it would be called strike 3 anyway. The funny part is we ended up scoring two, and only two, so we had to play the bottom of the inning PLUS an extra inning after we held the other team scoreless. haha, extra innings, no extra pay.

Anyway, as far as the game, our lineup construction was terrible (sound familiar, Royals fans?) Now, I'm not a lightning-quick guy, but I can run fairly well, plus I actually know how to run the bases. Naturally, I batted behind the biggest, slowest guy on the team, a guy that moves one base at a time unless the ball rolls all the way to the fence. So, no stolen bases, no going first to third on a single, since I can't be sure he'll try to score from 2nd on a single. Then, our centerfielder went down, and instead of moving me over from left, our team manager lady puts one of the slowest, poorest defenders out there. In centerfield. He completely ran past two grounders up the middle, and played way too deep on most batters, resulting in 3-4 "hits" that should have been caught.

He's also one of the guys I alluded to above, the type with the baseball, uh, "knowledge" that needs to be beat out of players at every opportunity: you know, the guy (and this team is full of them) that, no matter if a runner is two steps away from the plate and he's throwing from centerfield, throws over all cut-off men and tries to get the out at the plate. Again, no one seems to care that this is just as big an error as the pitcher throwing past the first baseman on a pick-off move, as it gives a free base to all runners. Since it's not a blindingly obvious mistake, it's not a mistake at all!

Well, here's a perfect example of the type of guys I'm now apparently stuck with this season:

The situation: down by 2, top of the last inning, nobody on base (and a team full of guys that can't hit home runs).

Me: "This guy can barely throw strikes, we need to take pitches until he can locate 'em."
Random Team Member: "We need to get hits is what we need!"
Me: "Yeah, but we need base runners, and right now a walk is as good as a single."
Random Team Member: "Well, I'll take a walk if I have to, but I hate it! I'm gonna try to hit it!"

Move forward to a couple pitches later – nobody on base, the batter at the plate has worked the count to 3-1.

Team Member (from dugout): "Come on, swing the bat, we don't want no fuckin walks!"

I'm surprised we don't just name ourselves the Moneyballs. But, this is the attitude that's ALWAYS been pervasive in every level of baseball I've played at. Our brilliant centerfield replacement guy, the defensive wizard, also absolutely refuses to take a pitch with 3 balls (yes, I'm amazed he ever gets that far to begin with), and I've seen him strike out on a couple pitches so high over his head that I don't think he could physically hit it anyway. Think about that: he'd rather swing at a pitch he has to look up at than take a walk. These guys will always dive for a ball instead of letting it drop and holding a runner to a single, they try to take an extra base at every opportunity (no matter how silly), and, despite the fact that I reached base 3 out of 4 times in Game 1, it's considered a failure because I never got a hit. It's that mentality that needs to be groomed from every baseball player, and it's exactly what I don't want to see from the Royals. Good coaching should take care of it, though I've yet to see evidence of that. But, then again, we're not exactly dealing with an advanced brain trust when we're talking about baseball players, are we? You just keep hoping..

Frustratingly,
Joe Blow

A small mention to clear the air..

In the last week or so, someone at ye old Royalboard has apparently taken to posting under the obviously catchy but slightly-used nickname "Royal Blues". just in case there's any confusion, I'd like to take this opportunity to point out: that royalboard poster is not your humble editor here at Royal Blues (wait, did I really need to link to my own site? eh, maybe I can give myself more hits..). Just in case anyone was wondering.

Thank you.

Decidedly,
Joe Blow

JBABL (Joe Blow's Adult Baseball League) Update #1

Oh yeah, in the interest of…well, me, here are the final pre-season stats (by my calculations) for the 3 exhibition games I played in:

Batting Average: .222
On-Base Percentage: .364
Slugging Percentage: .222
OPS: .586

awesome, yeah, I know. to be fair, it's the first three games of baseball I've played in honestly 10 years. heck, last time I played, the kids could barely even figure out how to hold a curveball, let alone get it to spin.

Game by game:

1: 1-5 (infield single, 2 Ks, two ground-outs)
2: 0-3 (1 BB, 1 K, pop-out, ground out)
3: 1-2 (1 BB, bloop single, fielder's choice), 2 runs scored

I actually broke my metal bat hitting that rocket bloop single. ok, so the cap came out. "broken-metal-bat" single just sounds better. and, as a defense for the first game, the strike-outs were pretty cheap: the lone umpire was calling balls and strikes from somewhere behind the side of the pitcher's mound, and one of the strikeouts came on consecutives curves that were really low.

On the plus side, I've made zero errors in the field so far. I've played 3 innings at 3rd base and 18 innings in left field. I'm really digging left field – in fact, I'd be more than happy to play there every inning of every game. my arm was really sore last sunday, due to trying to throw too hard the day before, but I sure as shit wasn't telling anybody. trust me, the easiest way for a non-hitting new guy on a team to grab a piece of the bench is to let the yokels that run the team know you're hurt. it'll get better.

tonight's the first actual game. I'm excited – the first real game I've had in a long while..

now it's just time to hit the fuckin ball.

Anxiously,
Joe Blow

Chicago 8, Kansas City 2
Royal Record: 5-12

Chicago 3, Kansas City 2
Royal Record: 5-13

Chicago 4, Kansas City 3
Royal Record: 5-14

Minnesota 2, Kansas City 1
Royal Record: 5-15

This team is a joke.

There's no "benefit" or "doubt" or anything to give to the Royals anymore. There's nothing they are actually "good" at: IF, OF, starting pitching, relief pitching, closers, managers, general managers, owners, concessions, marketing, merchandising -- merchandising! (honestly, do you know how hard it is to find good and/or cool royals stuff around town?). while this is still my team, I don't support our "vision" or "plan" or, hell, "personnel".

This team is a reactionary, slow-witted, jumbled mess that lacks the strength, talent, and intellectual ability to succeed at any facet of their existence. Everyone knows I'm a big Royals fan, and I'm tired of defending them to people, because I honestly don't believe they have the ability to accurately analyze and judge any part of their business that would make them successful – finding talent, managing technique and game strategies, or even understanding how to appeal and retain a fan base.

There's not a "strategy" – there's only reaction. It takes strength to look at a team in an unconventional or creative manner and do what it takes to win, even if your typical fan isn't going to understand your process. That is not this team. This is a team apparently run by a group of guys that are slow to both acquire talent or cut losses with former prospects, infatuated with veterans and versatile utility players, and lack the ability to do anything more than meekly follow the lead of teams developing alternative means of evaluating players, while relying heavily on traditional methods that tend to yield high-risk players who are often unable to translate their raw "tools" into useful, effective major league ability. This is not a group of leaders; it's a gathering of poor followers.

Between the Royals organization and MLB, there's no chance. If it were possible for me to root for another team, believe me, I would. I can't imagine there's a professional group more adept at both failing and possessing an inability to recognize complete failure as it presents itself at every opportunity. Instead, there's nothing but shortsighted player moves, haphazard team construction, and an uncanny ability to position the team in the worst alignments on game day. This is supplemented throughout the season by ridiculous gambles and poor decision-making, consistently demonstrating a failure to grasp the principles of winning baseball in every way.

So, let me amend my previous statement: I hate you MLB. And, Royals: I hate you, too.

Resignedly,
Joe Blow

Minnesota 10, Kansas City 9 (10 innings)
Royal Record: 5-11

I don't think I really want to take more of this. honestly, it's not worth it. it's amazing how one team can be so remarkably inferior in so many different things. while it's true that no one expected anything of this season (maybe the royals should have petitioned the league to just take this year off and return next year recharged and more mature), it's beyond the point of simple frustration. there is literally no chance for this team. I just don't see how every top draft pick, every minor leaguer hyped to us, every free agent signing, everything about this team can turn out *so* wrong. all I know is it's something I can count on every time.

yesterday, I watched a group of professional athletes – we're not talking the laughably bad baseball players that were the "superstars" at my high school, these are guys that are supposed to be infinitely better in every aspect of the game – repeatedly fail at plays that my adult baseball league team full of junior varsity rejects make pretty routinely. and you know we, um, pay to play in a league full of nobodies.

why watch the royals this year? I'm as true-blue as they come, and I'd never bail on my team, but it doesn't mean I have to care as passionately as I have. if this is the year we finally hit our youth movement head-on, why are at least half of the positions on every given day manned by long-time veteran journeymen and one high-priced slugger? our current hopes are pinned on a group of rookies and sophomores who so far either fail just as spectacularly as they succeed, or never even catch of a glimpse of success. it's not fun to watch, because you know the outcome. the royals are the incubation period: you baby the egg, treat it tenderly, nurture the new hatchling through the tough first few years – feeding it, wrapping its broken wing, building its strength, and preparing it for the day it will finally take to the air. of course it's a thing of beauty when all your work has paid off and you finally witness that first majestic flight..

…until, instead circling around and returning home, your baby sails off into the sunset with another flock. then, time to start all over again!

I hate MLB.

I'm glad I have my own baseball to pay attention to this summer, because I really don't think I have it in me to care as much about this team as I'd love to. I think I'll write more about my own team – I know, not interesting to anyone else, and I'd honestly hate to lose the three of you that read this – but if the royals are all I write about, I might as well shut it down now. maybe I'll get back to my sorely neglected record collection. at least my favorite bands and records never turn to shit just because they can't afford to record with high-dollar engineers and equipment. sure wish I could say the same thing about my favorite baseball team..

the royals will still occupy much of this space, but…goddamn. that's about all.

dejectedly,
Joe Blow

between "vacation" (if that's what you call Detroit) and work, Royal Blues has suffered from lack of posts – just humor me here and at least pretend like you've been anxiously awaiting my return..

besides, I never promised quality *or* quantity.

in fact, because I'm behind once again in game-type recaps, we've secretly replaced your regular royals reading with new R.O.Y.A.L.S. acronyms – see if you can tell the difference!

Kansas City 6, Detroit 5
Royal Record: 4-6

interesting game, great ending with berroa's two-run blast being the difference..

in acronym form:

Rookie
Of
Year
Angel
Lifts
Spirits

see how easy that is! well, what are we waiting for? let's go!


Detroit 7, Kansas City 1
Royal Record: 4-7

who said the bullpen was a strength? I sure hope that doesn't appear in any of my posts (I'm pretty sure it doesn't..)

Relievers
Old
Yardbirds;
American
League
Snickers

Detroit 6, Kansas City 1
Royal Record: 4-8

you didn't think the royals would perform well against the same guy twice, now did you? maroth shuts the vaunted KC sluggers down..

Royals
Offense:
Yet
Another
Laughable
Score


Cleveland 5, Kansas City 1
Royal Record: 4-9

I attended this game in person, marking the first time I've actually seen these guys this year. it was sad. very sad. in fact, it had me longing for the days of 2003 – you know, that one year current royals fans tend to take solace in, considering it was the only winning season in a long, long time. and then you think about that, and realize that it's truly ridiculous that our success is measured by achieving four games over .500...once.

Really,
ONE
YEAR
Above
Loser
Status


Kansas City 6, Cleveland 5
Royal Record: 5-9

alberto castillo hits a walk-off homer to win a frustrating but exciting game.

Rockin!
Our
Young
Alberto
Launches
Slam

Minnesota 5, Kansas City 4
Royal Record: 5-10

a great moment – Sweeney crushing a 3-run home run off of johan santana to take the lead – eventually wiped out by the bullpen. really, does any other team manage to lose as many games via walk / wild pitch / error / double-play ball hit past a drawn-in infield type of stuff more than the royals? I guess it just goes to show that this year is already in the books..

Royals
O5:
Yet
Another
Losing
Season


S.I.N.C.E.R.E.L.Y.,
Joe Blow

been an odd week here at the domicile of your humble Royal Blues host, which is about all I can say for my slightly-extended absence. though, it's not like there's been an abundance of quality royals listening to occupy my time. such is the business of free royals writing..

in an effort to encourage conciseness – on my part, of course – I've just about deleted a good four paragraphs worth of crap. seeing as how even *I* didn't feel like reading through them.

basically, we've dispelled of all positive spring training talk and actually seen the royals perform. hey, there were a couple good performances mixed in! the rest...well, you know.

honestly, at this point in the evening, I've already been through a number of quality local hand-crafted brews that I lugged back from michigan (home of the goddamn 10-cent bottle deposit I'll never get back..), so I'm just gonna plow through these and try to get back with you once I've caught up again..

Kansas City 6, Los Angeles Anaheim California 2

Royal Record: 2-2

denny bautista (apparently) pitched great. one of those games I didn't get to hear or see – you'll notice that is a theme for most of these recaps here. mike sweeney with a couple RBIs, paul byrd sucking – isn't that what was supposed to happen? paul byrd was never that good; I'm glad the royals didn't listen to some "fans" and refused to re-sign him. can't say so much for lima. at least he has energy, though. I guess.

Disneyland 8, Kansas City 3

Royal Record: 2-3

why are "spot starters" always so effective against the royals? then again, why are starters in general effective? oh yeah, we can't buy hitters.

lima, uh, sucked. you know, the thing is, I LIKE jose lima. for the most part. he's just one of those guys that will get bombed sometimes and have some strangely effective starts other times. that's royals baseball for you – as it is right now. lima was unnecessary this season, but they signed him, so I pretty much resigned myself to him early on. really, allard just needed somebody with a little bit of name and advertising potential, so I know why he signed him. it still doesn't mean we needed him.

Kansas City 8, CA L.A. Anaheim 3

Royal Record: 3-3

one of the things I like (well, the only thing I like concerning baseball when I'm out of town) is the excitement of waking up the next morning (or, you know, coming home late from a night on the town) and tapping my foot while waiting for the internet to fire up so I can see what the royals did. you brace yourself for a 10-2 loss, and slap the desk when you know that brian anderson is pitching against bartolo colon and the royals win 8-3. I couldn't believe this score! gotay came up big – hey, he played? what, did shawn camp pitch? for all I know, pickering smashed the ball! what, no? oh, emil brown did? you know, I'm starting to like this guy. honestly, having watched, um, ZERO spring training games, and never hearing of the guy before, I was pretty much one of those least qualified to comment on him. but, at the same time, how could I have ever known anything? from what I've heard so far (I still haven't actually *seen* a royals game this year), he sounds like a really solid player. so, good for him. I love when guys like that finally make it. a very solid game here (from the text, anyway).

Seattle 8, Kansas City 2

Royal Record: 3-4

quite an opener. immediately after clearing the security check at the beginning of the terminal at detroit metro airport, I looked in from the opening of the "fox sports" bar-ish garbage to try to see the royals score. I proceeded to watch the slowest crawl ever for a couple minutes, then gave up to ride the terminal-tram to one end of the airport, so I could walk all the way back to the beginning and kill some time. I had 1 ½ hours to kill – after my tram ride and walk back, I had a measly 1 1/4 hours to go. in case you've never been to the new detroit airport, there's subway-ish things (that run above-terminal) that take you from the middle to the end, since it's a huge terminal and lazy people hate to do things like, oh, exercise-ish walking.

when you walk from gate to gate, there are some cool moving sidewalks (cue "99th floor" for 60's garage rock fans ((ah, ok, for everyone actually reading this, nevermind – though, if you followed the link, ZZ top really has nothing to do with this)) -- 60's garage is just one of my things, you know) that allow you to feel like you're walking faster than humanly possible for a moment. well, after traipsing across a bunch of those, i stopped for a moment at my eventual gate. just outside of it was one of the numerous "sports" "bars" i swear i had walked by on a previous journey across the terminal...and happened upon a group of mariners fans sitting at the "bar" (hey, one of them had a hat, and there was a seattle flight close-by – I just assumed). anyway, from what I could tell while I was looking at scores, I had heard, "yeah, they lost big today. at kansas city."

I thought, "yes! they won again!"

after strolling through the terminal for a while, I finally exhausted myself and stopped back by a more empty version of the same bar to check the sports crawl.

Seattle 8, Kansas City 2

"goddammit," I thought. "ah well, I have a flight to catch."
that game sucked, I guess.

Seattle 2, Kansas City 1

what a lame fuckin game! greinke good for 6, cerda gives up 2 (macdougal lamely kicking everyone in the nuts by wild-pitching in the first run), KC finally scoring ONE run when it doesn't matter nearly as much...this is the kind of game I hate, and...fuck I hated this game.

Seattle 10, Kansas City 2

this is the kind of game that doesn't make me feel bad about drinking at lunch. shit, I've had such an odd week of vacation and working and a "sick" day and working and changed flight plans and...oh, suffice it to say that, while drinking at work is never bad, the royals are a lot of the time. this game was sad.

I will be back with news on tonight's game (royals vs. tigers) and my new venture into the KC adult baseball league...hopefully sometime soon, too!

damn, that was long.

exhaustedly,
joe blow

Tigers 7, Royals 3
Royal Record: 1-2

well, that was certainly an ugly game. greinke goes out, royals offense goes out, then they hit the lights.

i don't have a lot to say, considering i'm leaving for the airport to (godforsaken) detroit in about 5 minutes. today was bad, and tony pena has, apparently, reared his head to reveal the he does, in fact, get lineup advice based on the way his cereal shakes out in the morning (earlier i said alpha-bits, but it's obvious cheerios are his preferred breakfast -- marreroooo (over pickering), graffaninoooo (over gotay -- ending "o" takes precedent) -- pretty much, uh...tony pena likes hunches, let's just say that.

anyway, that was bad, they're going to california, and i'm stuck in detroit once all sane semblance of a kansas city presence (plus tony pena!) has long since departed. so, see ya next week!

also, why do i receive hits for "carlos santiago is a fucking wuss"? who is this carlos santiago, and why is he so weak? maybe you can fill me in while i'm gone!

grudgingly,
joe blow

Detroit 11, Kansas City 2
Royal Record: 0-1

well, that was certainly ugly on monday, huh? while lima is not really our best pitcher, considering it was in Detroit and he was basically brought in because he had some name recognition among casual fans and a fiery attitude, I don't see much wrong with throwing him out there. except the pitching thing. I like sisco hitting dmitri young, I like pickering hitting a home run, and that's about all there is about that.

Kansas City 7, Detroit 2
Royal Record: 1-1

today, on the other hand, was much better. a good pitching performance by Hernandez, an excellent start with timely hitting by Dejesus, graffanino and Sweeney, berroa smacking a home run early in the season – pretty damn good. while i'm sure someone could dig up some type of complicated formula that would show hernandez was, in fact, the absolute worst pitcher to throw a game yet this season, that's not really my area of expertise, and i'm content to say he did (as stated above) pretty damn good. the only real trouble today was affeldt giving up a run in his one inning of work, which could have easily been two with a little less luck. for some reason, no matter how spectacular his stuff is, I'm afraid affeldt (no matter how much I would like him to) just, apparently, never seems to get it. I can't see him remaining in the "closer" role for very long – in fact, I have a hard time picturing him ever really being effective. he's been around for a few years now, and it's consistently the same story. not a happy one, either.

* * * * *

part of the (very long) entry I alluded to monday had to do with a bit of explanation regarding my previous stumbling little entry about my buddy mr. neyer – mainly, the idea I wanted to get across was that I don't, in fact, hate sabermetrics in general (wouldn't want to drive any of you off, you know). in an effort to implement my new-found fondness for brevity (I'm trying to keep these things shorter), here's a simple explanation: basically, I agree wholeheartedly with most of the ideas saber guys put forth and buy into (note I said "most"). I just can't stand most of the guys that "practice" it.

currently, most of the new ideas I see being created are WAY too complicated and ridiculously overreaching to actually mean anything, and most people I come across that have caught on to the saber-ish style of analysis are just as bad as "traditional" baseball guys –they'll accept anything thrown at them by certain glorified people, and will openly defy questioning any conventional wisdom brought forth from the saber crowd (while still complaining loudly when traditional guys can't see past "old baseball" ideas). I have nothing against saber-types in general. I'm for *all types* of analysis, as long as it's good.

I might have an entry about the fiasco joining the local adult baseball league has become if I have time, though I'll be in Detroit from thursday – monday. of course it's one day too late to catch the royals. dammit..

anyway, that's basically it.

carry on,
joe blow

Opening day!

(I had a whole long post i started writing on friday, but i didn't finish and now it really doesn't matter because the season's starting and royals stuff will now matter...for at least a month or so!)