Orioles 13, Royals 4

i almost don't even wanna talk about this one.

...

ah, whatever.

the royals, once again, made the opposing team's pitcher look like an ace, in an attempt to show...well, they didn't get a hit through four innings. you guys know it's embarassing, right? right??

I listened to the beginning, as 'ol "goldfish" berroa showed off his outstanding attention span by immediately committing an error on the first play of the game. angel, don't you know brian anderson takes any negative, files it down into a sharp object, and immediately starts gouging everybody in the stands with it? so, the first run shouldn't have scored. and then runs 2 and 3 score, it's 3-0, and I had to go in and take care of a few errands.

(cue shopping music)

and, then, I return: "...so that's 3 up, 3 down for the royals, and at the end of 3, it's Baltimore 9, the Royals nothing."

oh, brian anderson, no matter how many times I hear you tell us you know you suck but don't know why, it just makes you wanna...I don't know, fire the pitching coach? sure, that's the ticket! shit's gonna pick up around here now, most definitely. yep. without a doubt. no question..

so, bye john cumberland. I'll miss your grumpy face and apparently ineffective teaching techniques. of course, when you're working with clay, you're not exactly gonna create a sturdy marble masterpiece. what difference does a pitching coach make anyway? ok, watch the pitcher pitch. say, "let's check this out on video. see there? where you threw the ball bad? let's throw it good next time." I mean, I'd imagine a pitching coach ought to have some pretty solid pitching knowledge. did cumberland? who knows. he should be able to effectively work with guys. could cumberland? who knows. in fact, for everything you can come up with, there's no way for those of us sitting at home grinding our way through your kansas city royals' games to really know much of anything about what goes on and how good the coaches are or are not. and even john cumberland's one big moment in the spotlight, the slow, grating walk to the pitcher's mound to say, "hey, what the fuck are you doing?" or "get out" was co-opted by tony pena most of the time.

and, so, with this season stumbling drunk and about to pass out on the sidewalk, we get a new pitching coach, 'ol what's-his-name. I'm bursting with enthusiasm. all I know is that I sure wouldn't want darrell may, brian anderson, and company affecting my job rating.

anyway, i stopped listening after the fourth, then turned it back on later for the ninth, and all i can say is: the royals scored four?

also, juan gonzalez is not dead. but his disability at work sure pays a lot better than mine. jerk.