woah, the last couple mornings have been a little weird here at the Royal Blues factory. a blown gasket here, a hydraulic leak there – it's amazing how many pieces it takes to keep this machine crankin'. of course, it doesn't help when the input I've been given seems so unreliable. take this for example:
Royals 3, Twins 1
I mean, look at this crap – solid pitching, effective bullpen, outscoring the opponent – how can I possibly be expected to get good, reliable output when this is what I've been given to work with? I mean, there are some tell-tale signs that it's not all mixed up, that's there's some actual royals data somewhere in there. there's the potentially costly error in the ninth. or scoring 2 in the first and still only scoring 3 for the game. but I'm afraid I won't be able to give an accurate report on this royals game until I get the real information.
and then, as I was warming up the machine today, I realized it wasn't just a one-time shipping error by my supplier. look at this:
Royals 12, Twins 3
needless to say, I've switched my business to someone who can give me kansas city royals information. I think someone's just went through and colored in whatever he wants:
"dee brown? have him hit a grand slam. aaaand, how about he comes up with the bases loaded in three innings in a row. not the sonic slam inning, though. that'd be funny. mike sweeney? give him another three hits. no, make that four. darrell may? another strong outing! ha ha ha, now were gettin' crazy! desi relaford? home run! I haven't gone too far now, have I? oh well, no one reads these things anyway.."
therefore, in the interest of collecting an accurate set of data, I am going to make an appearance in person at the game today. what's that? no, this has nothing to do with me happening upon that set of company tickets that was floating around this week. yes, this is totally for business purposes. honest! and, unlike "stolen base pillow" night at the K last year, I plan on not getting
stuck in ridiculous "winning royals" traffic and missing out. let's see, I've packed my tire slashers, my oil slick, my smokescreen, umm...oh yes, even the "go-go gadget" wheels. yep, I'd say that's just about everything all right..
I mean, look at this crap – solid pitching, effective bullpen, outscoring the opponent – how can I possibly be expected to get good, reliable output when this is what I've been given to work with? I mean, there are some tell-tale signs that it's not all mixed up, that's there's some actual royals data somewhere in there. there's the potentially costly error in the ninth. or scoring 2 in the first and still only scoring 3 for the game. but I'm afraid I won't be able to give an accurate report on this royals game until I get the real information.
and then, as I was warming up the machine today, I realized it wasn't just a one-time shipping error by my supplier. look at this:
Royals 12, Twins 3
needless to say, I've switched my business to someone who can give me kansas city royals information. I think someone's just went through and colored in whatever he wants:
"dee brown? have him hit a grand slam. aaaand, how about he comes up with the bases loaded in three innings in a row. not the sonic slam inning, though. that'd be funny. mike sweeney? give him another three hits. no, make that four. darrell may? another strong outing! ha ha ha, now were gettin' crazy! desi relaford? home run! I haven't gone too far now, have I? oh well, no one reads these things anyway.."
therefore, in the interest of collecting an accurate set of data, I am going to make an appearance in person at the game today. what's that? no, this has nothing to do with me happening upon that set of company tickets that was floating around this week. yes, this is totally for business purposes. honest! and, unlike "stolen base pillow" night at the K last year, I plan on not getting
stuck in ridiculous "winning royals" traffic and missing out. let's see, I've packed my tire slashers, my oil slick, my smokescreen, umm...oh yes, even the "go-go gadget" wheels. yep, I'd say that's just about everything all right..
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