Royals to city: "We Suck!"

Orioles 3, Royals 2

"We just didn't take good swings at (hittable) pitches...When you don't do that, you don't win a lot of ballgames.” – Matt Stairs

“You don't want to take away aggressiveness, but the play was right in front of (Brown).” – Tony Pena

"...after that, their guys pretty much just shoved it (at us).” – David Dejesus

“I don't even want to talk about it.” – Ken Harvey

"And I'm having no success.” – Brian Anderson

not content to merely let words speak for themselves, the kansas city royals proceeded to display a baffling array of weakness and ineptitude against a pitching staff that had, at one point, boasted the worst ERA of any team in the american league. they fired their pitching coach – hey, didn't we do something similar? – and have resided in the cellar of the american league east for much of the year. orioles, welcome to kauffman. sit down, relax, we'll see what we can do to solve your problems.

disappointed that the royals' pitchers merely own the unearned run crown, the royals offense set to work to lower baltimore's team ERA, scoring 4, 4, 1, and 2 runs in the four games. royals pitching also did its part, battling through a particularly difficult two games in which they allowed 3 and 2 runs to ensure the average runs given up in each of the four games at least equaled a brian anderson-approved 7.

but it was the offense that was the true star of this contest. as is bound to happen, complacency sprung from the two runs scored in the first inning, which under normal circumstances would all but put the game away. feeling it had led a rich and fulfilling life, the offense subjected itself to the firing squad without finishing the krispy kremes requested as a final meal. showing no class, the baltimore orioles proceeded to defile the remains of the royals offense in front of a shocked crowd of 22,000, who, sans doughnuts, was content to accept the spectacle of a quiet ceremony followed by a dignified fireworks display.

instead, what they saw was a massacre, a horrifying display in front of both mixed company and children. famed flamethrower Rodrigo Lopez charred the remains for 5 innings, before handing the reigns to the sadistic b.j. ryan, who continued to torture royals' fans in attendance. suspected necrophiliac jason grimsley, a one-time professed friend of these same royals, proceeded to display a complete disdain for humanity, unfurling a truly grotesque ceremony that left many outraged and the rest disgusted. Jorge Julio was given the unenviable task of cleaning up the carnage, and commenced his duties by spitting and stomping his way through. truly, these men have no conscience.

I hear the fireworks were nice, though.

honestly, I don't care what the royals do at this point, aside from continue to run out desi relaford somewhere every night, subject us to darrell may, brian anderson, saddle us with the "good" first-baseman that hits like rey sanchez, and continue to display an astounding lack of any type of intelligence on the field. that seems to be the thing about greinke that *shocks* everyone – that he "may not have the best stuff" (though anybody that can regularly run pitches up over 90 and throw a few pitches consistently well is someone I would say has pretty good stuff) – but that he is constantly keeping the hitters off balance and throwing things they don't expect and changing the speeds, even on the same type of pitch. um, isn't that what EVERY pitcher should be doing? are they all *that* stupid, that a kid comes along that is smart enough to do that, and instantly rockets to #1 status on a major league team? It just sounds to me like all these others guys are doing is blindly throwing the ball up there without rhyme or reason or any idea about what, exactly, they're doing.

same with hitters – you hear praise for a guy that can hit a ball to the opposite field, or how a guy is struggling because he's trying to pull every pitch – um, didn't you learn anything about hitting at any level of baseball before this? it should just be natural, some pitches go one way, some go another. this ain't slow-pitch softball here – you can't always pick where you want to hit the ball. are they really standing up there trying to hit every pitch they get to left field? seriously?

sometimes I just get frustrated when you see the absolute *wrong* guys with the *right* ability. and here we are, stuck rootin' for 'em.

in good news, curtis leskanic still sucks this year. way to go, buddy.